Would you say it to her?
Earlier this week I watched a Facebook live address from the Governor of Virginia, as he announced plans to remove statues and symbols of the Confederacy in Virginia’s capital. As I tried to pay attention to what he and the other speakers were saying, I kept getting distracted by the comments. Some were in support of what the Governor was announcing, but many were angry. Angry about his decision, angry about what they believed was misinformation, or historical inaccuracies. But what struck me hardest were the number of people who expressed their detest of our Governor for a reason that had nothing to do with his announcement. The number of people calling him a baby killer.
Baby killer.
It’s a statement I have seen thrown around many times in reference to a person’s stance on abortion — as well as words like despicable, disgusting, and immoral. And as Governor Northam has not personally killed any babies that I’m aware of, I assume that’s what these comments meant as they angrily declared him unfit to lead our state, and unworthy of their respect because he is a “baby killer”.
Baby killer.
Those words pierced right through my heart.
When I was 13 years old, I was molested by my former step-father. Without going into any unnecessary details, I will say that I am grateful that what happened to me would not have led to a pregnancy. But I was 13. I had begun puberty. Had the abuse gotten worse, I could, by all physical standards have gotten pregnant.
When I think back to that 13 year old girl I remember how incredibly scared I was.
I remember how hard the following months were as I moved into a new home, started a new school, separated from family, and lost friends. I remember how painful it was to face family who didn’t believe me. How painful it was to still have to face my abuser at family gatherings and holidays.
I tell you truthfully, it was only by the grace of God, and the fierce love of a select few that I survived that first year after the abuse. Years later, when things I couldn’t have dealt with at the tender age of 13 came bubbling up to the surface, the darkness felt all-consuming and almost took over completely.
I think of that 13 year old girl — still very much a girl in almost every way, even if her body had the womanly power to conceive a child — and I wonder what would have happened to her if things had been worse. If she’d not had the courage to speak up about her abuse. If no one had believed her. If the abuse had continued and even escalated. If the abuse had resulted in a pregnancy. If she then had no choice but to live through and walk out that pregnancy to full term — a child carrying a child.
I tell you truthfully that the thought of the emotional, psychological, and physical pain that 13 year old girl would have endured leaves me doubled over weeping in agony. Because she had already been through enough…no she had been through too much! And I can’t imagine ever having to tell her that she would have to walk through the halls of her school — her new school where she already felt like an outsider, but was at least able to hide her shame and wounds on the inside — exposed in her humiliation and abuse for the world to see. I can’t imagine telling her that while her body had already been violated, she would now have to go through the physical pain of carrying and delivering a child, and be violated all over again. At just 13 years old.
It’s the thoughts of this 13 year old girl — my 13 year old self — that influence my decision to support laws that allow for safe and legal termination of pregnancy in the first trimester for cases of rape and incest.
I believe in the sanctity of life.
I believe in adoption and family. I believe in Jesus Christ and how He showed love for children.
And I know that He loved that 13 year old little girl and wept over her pain and suffering. He walked with her and helped her heal, so that today she can talk openly about her past and be a voice for so many who cannot or will not talk about their own abuse.
I know that this is a very emotionally charged topic. I know many who have chosen a candidate to vote for based almost entirely on this one issue — that’s how important it is.
Whatever you believe, I trust that you have your own personal reasons and values driving those beliefs. However you vote, I trust you do so based on facts and conscience. I don’t begrudge you your choice, your opinion, or your vote. I hold no ill will if it differs from mine because I know that it is our own experiences that shape our belief system and ideals.
But I do ask that if your stance is different from mine…if you feel abortion should not be legal under any circumstances, that you would please be willing to enter into a civilized conversation with me, being gentle enough to honor that it is my experiences that have shaped my belief system and ideals, and my past is not the same as yours.
And before you call anyone despicable or a baby killer because of how they vote, I ask that you think of the 13 year old girl pictured here and whether you would stand before her and call her a baby killer.
[Please note, I did not write this or post it lightly. It was only after prayer and counsel from friends who believe differently than I do, that I decided to share this post in hopes that we can all begin a dialog that allows us to see different sides and learn how to discuss and disagree in love. I do not want this page to be a place of division. While I welcome ideas and thoughts on the matter that differ from mine, I ask that you do so respectfully and kindly. Any name calling, shaming, or hate speech will be removed.]
I’m so sorry that happened to you, Jelise. Standing with you in love and solidarityhttp:/. ❤
Okay, so your last two posts have had me in a quandary. I kept asking myself should I post a comment or not. If I do how can I speak on these very volatile subjects without becoming a caricature of the typical white male adult American. But you know me it’s hard for me to keep my opinions bottled up when it’s about a subject I hold strong feelings about.
So here goes nothing.
First of all as your Dad there are some very strong emotions about this particular post. As a believer in Yahweh and Yahshua as well as someone who believes that the Torah of Yahweh is still in effect for us as a guideline for living I have some strong opinions on both subjects.
Abortion has become a more immediate subject for me in the last few years for some reason. Bigotry has always been a problem for me to remain on the sidelines about. I firmly believe these two subjects have a number of things in common.
In history it is recorded that in order for one group of people to persecute another group of people they most often had to change their status as humans, in their eyes, by comparison. In other words they had to look at the group they wanted to persecute as less human than themselves. This has happened between religious groups, geographical groups, ethnic groups and on and on all through history.
Well that is the same thing done to the unborn babies by the many pro abortion advocates. They have dispersed misinformation and downright lies to convince us that the unborn human is not really a human at all therefore we have a right to do with it as we choose. This is the same way slaves were looked at all through history, they were property not humans. This was the way the Nazis looked at the Poles, Czechs, Jews, and most others as being inferior to them as a race so what they did to them really didn’t matter.
The “ clump of cells” lie is a perfect example of this. If it’s just a clump of cells then it’s no worse than having a wart removed. However if it is an unborn human then there are all sorts of moral questions you need to ask. The clump of cells lie goes out the window when biology is brought in to the discussion. At just 4 weeks, when most women don’t even know they are pregnant yet, the fetus has a beating heart. Clumps of cells like warts don’t do that. In fact the 4 week old has eyes that are forming, a spine and nervous system that is forming, all of which is enough to distinguish it from a clump of cells. At just nine weeks the baby has arms, legs, a body and head, just like you and me.
I believe the reason some are called “baby killers” is the accessory to the crime rule. If you enable another person to comet a murder but don’t actually commit the murder yourself you are guilty too. Our Messiah explained this principle in his teachings. If you were to look at a woman with lust then you were guilty of adultery even though you never even spoke to her. We are responsible for our thoughts as well as our actions. So if certain lawmakers make it easier to perform abortions then they are as guilty as the DR who suctions out the living fetus from the mothers womb.
Biology also puts a lie to the idea of inferior races. In fact it contradicts the idea of races at all. Sinse humans have been able to look at DNA ,the code that programs each of us physically when we are conceived, biologist have seen that the differences that are between human and human on the DNA level is so minute that it is hardly worth noticing at all. The differences in skin color, hair color, eye color, height, strength, and other physical differences is extremely minor. There is essentially only one race, the human race.
That all being said each and every one of us is prejudiced in some way.
The Cambridge English Dictionary says : prejudice is , an unfair and unreasonable opinion or feeling formed without enough thought or knowledge:
Well I’m sorry to tell everyone here but we as humans do this all the time. We make decisions and choices based on what we think more often than on what can be known about something or someone.
Now bigotry is a whole different story. The same dictionary has this to say, Bigotry is the fact of having and expressing strong, unreasonable beliefs and disliking other people who have different beliefs or a different way of life. See this is strictly against another human.
Okay so being against another human or group of humans is Bigotry.
So what about the woman’s right to choose what she does with her body. Well believe it or not I agree with the idea that the government should stay out of our personal choices in life. The thing is though the unborn human is not her body. It has a body of its own. So who protects its right to choose? The fact is what we need to have is better choices, not more ways of aborting a child. These choices should be taught by society as a whole but should start in each home. Choices like, save sex for marriage, do not have unprotected sex unless you are ready to be responsible for the outcome. We need to teach Godly morals at all levels of our society instead of this idea of freedom from biblical laws. As soon as we take Yahweh’s laws out of our society we are left with each person doing what is right in their own eyes. Who is smarter here us or God? I think we need to get it, God knows what we need in the way of instruction for us all to get along. Get over it. There is not a professor, politician, preacher, conservative or liberal in the world smarter than God and able to make better instructions for living that what is in the Bible.
So if we follow Yahweh’s instructions then we don’t , Hate, Murder, oppress, or with hold services from another person. Our families have a Father, Mother, and children who know their roles and how to do them. There is support for the victims of rape, and adultery. Anyone who disputes that these things are in the Bible I would love to study it with you sometime.
Now we get to the Question: Would you say it to her?
My answer is “Yes” I would also say I Love You and will support you through this. I will help you survive this and still become the you God planed when you were conceived. The fact is I would have done it then but maybe not as well as I would now, but I would have done it. Love is the cure all for what ails the Human Race. Not self love but self sacrificing love. The same kind Yahshua exhibited on the cross. If we all put the other persons needs before our own most bad things would never happen. You wouldn’t need to do this blog and ask these questions. Sense this is a broken world waiting for it’s King to return and set things straight then the best we can do is follow the example of the one perfect human ever. There is no other better way.
My answer is YES, yes to love, yes to kindness, yes to taking care of those who can’t take care of themselves. YES to life always.
As your Dad I would have said yes and wrapped my arms around you and helped you through it all. That may be hard to believe about that 30 something man I was then but I still believe it is so. The 60 something man writing this is absolute in saying that is how it will be going forward.
Peace and love to you because of all your courage, and for letting me be a part of your life.
A little update on my comment above. I would not have called you a baby killer, but would have said “Yes” to preserving the tiny life that had been created. I would have supported you in every way to have the baby.
I also might have gone to Waldorf and beat the snot out of a certain somebody, but I digress. Love is the key to survival through all that life throws at us. I would have loved you as much as I am capable of. And a grandchild too. I am glad we didnt have to cross that road together. But if we had Yahweh would have led the way.