The first step toward forgiveness and restoration
[The following is an excerpt from my book Forgiven and Restored.]
DEAR READER, YOU MAY BE WONDERING what it is that makes me such an expert on forgiveness and restored relationships. Why should you read this book and take my advice?
Well, I don’t claim to be an expert by any means, but I do know what it’s like to be in your shoes. I know what it’s like to live with indescribable pain and loss and feel like you can never come back from it.
My story is complicated. It’s messy. It includes abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and loss. But it also comes with healing, love, and redemption.
When I was a young girl I was sexually abused by my step-father. At the time, my mother and other family members were unable to accept the truth. As a result, I spent many years filled with anger and hurt, grieving both the loss of my innocence and the loss of the relationship I wanted to have with my mom.
As a young wife, I almost lost my marriage when I found out my husband had been hiding a severe addiction to pornography which eventually led to infidelity.
For years I wondered what was wrong with me; why did every person I love choose someone else? I knew as a Christian I was called to forgive but didn’t know how it was possible to ever recover from such deep wounds. While I wanted desperately to forgive the people I loved most in my life, I didn’t think healing and restoration were possible. I believed I was destined to live a life of broken and fractured relationships.
But God had a different plan for me. He had a plan for healing, forgiveness, and restoration. It didn’t happen overnight and it wasn’t easy. But He led me through hopeless brokenness and, over time, I have been able to reconcile my relationships, let go of my anger, and learn to trust again.
The result is more than I could have ever imagined. Today, both of these relationships are stronger, healthier, and happier than they were before.
Read that again: they are stronger, healthier, and happier than they were before the hurt! That’s the amazing redemptive power of God’s grace and the good news I must share with you. Not only can you find your way to forgiveness, but it is also possible to reconcile your broken relationships, and perhaps even discover something better.
Sharing my past and lifting the veil so the world can see all the ugly parts is not easy or something I do lightly. But it is done with the hope that 1. You will know that you are not alone in your hurt, loss, and brokenness, and 2. You will find hope and encouragement for your own journey toward forgiveness and restoration.
I want to state up-front that the relationship restoration I have experienced and speak of in this book does not include a restored relationship with my abuser. While I have heard of some people that have been able to do this, I never had a desire to try. It was not a healthy, loving relationship before the assault, and letting it go was an easy decision for me. It’s also so important I acknowledge that these stories are not mine alone to share, and I do so only with the permission of my mom and husband.
Lastly, I want to make it very clear that my own path toward forgiveness and restoration was greatly assisted by the guidance of a trained and licensed psychologist. I strongly encourage anyone who is battling with deeply rooted hurts or betrayal to consider seeking out a licensed counselor, social worker, psychologist, or minister to help counsel you through this journey.
Now, let’s take the first step together.
“In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” – Psalm 118:5-6
If you’re interested in learning more about Forgiven and Restored or buying a copy, click here. Or head over to Amazon.com.
