Tag Archives: trusting God

A new definition of success

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. – Proverbs 3:3-4

Over the years, my view of what success would look like for me has changed many times. But one thing was certain, success always looked BIG. As in, change the world big!

As a young college freshman I decided to major in Communications and Journalism, ready to change the world by becoming the next Woodward or Bernstein. Then, as my spiritual journey went through a period of immense learning and growth in my early 20’s, I thought I was being called into ministry, specifically missions. I planned to change the world one village at a time.

By the time I graduated college I had met the love of my life and was engaged to be married. Ideas of going into ministry were put on hold and it seemed the responsible thing to do was get a “real job”. So using my Communications degree I got a job in a corporate marketing department…and I did well. Really well. I moved up quickly and had a taste of career success. Soon my plan was to crash through the glass ceiling; and as my husband and I started to discuss having kids, I was determined I would prove you could “have it all” (whatever “it all” means).

During those early years as a mother, I put much of my focus and measurement of success with my children. If they were successful, then that surely meant I was successful as a mother. But it didn’t take long before I learned (the hard way) just how much is out of my control. I realized it was unfair to both my children, and to me, if I measured my success as a mother and as a person based on their successes and failures.

By the time I was 30 I had a great marketing manager job with a global company. I was able to work from home partially and travel to places I had always dreamed about, like South Africa, Australia, and East Asia. I felt like I had arrived, this is what success must look like: balancing a family and a career, getting to travel the world.

But soon, I felt the pull for more. I took on a more senior role, one that had a lot more responsibility. At first it was great, but over time the stress began to wear on me. I started to wonder: “if this is what success looks like, why doesn’t it feel like everything I thought it would?” Simultaneous to this, God began working on my heart and re-igniting that call to go into ministry and I wondered what exactly He wanted from me. Had my pursuit of success been misguided? Had I been pursuing the wrong kind of success?

I finally decided that it was time to put it all in His hands. To stop trying to map out my career path or plan every step of my life’s journey. I knew that I needed to help people in some way and I wasn’t sure what that would look like, but I started trusting God to guide me in the right direction. I felt a push to write, to minister, and to educate. I began blogging, speaking and writing a book. I led my first women’s retreat, and led a Bible study with my husband. It felt right, like I was doing what I had always been meant to do,  but I didn’t feel successful. I thought, in order to be a success at any of these things I would have to turn them into a career and earn a living.

Meanwhile, I was feeling like a failure in my senior marketing job. Projects took longer than planned and technology issues presented daily problems. I began to feel like all I did was put out fires. Any feelings of success I had felt years earlier had dissipated.

Then an opportunity presented itself to take a different role with the same company, a role writing and teaching. It wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for, but I trusted God and accepted the job. Still, leaving my other job I felt like I had failed in my role. I wondered what was my legacy in that position where I had given so much for the last six years?

As I left one role where I felt a failure, and began to take on another that I wasn’t sure lined up with God’s calling for my life, I realized for the first time in my life I didn’t know what success looked like any more, or if I would ever achieve it.

Then in the final week of my marketing job I received an email from a colleague. He wrote: “One thing I’ve learnt from you is to always be courteous and polite – no matter what the production pressures are; because at the end of the day there’s a real person with feelings on the other end of the telephone.”

Reading that note, in that moment I realized I’d had it all wrong.

My idea of success was so misguided! It isn’t about how many projects were delivered on time and on budget; it isn’t about how many issues I had successfully resolved, or innovative solutions I’d created. It certainly isn’t about money or climbing a corporate ladder. And it isn’t even about ensuring I find some perfect job that lines up exactly with God’s call for me to be in ministry (because where did Jesus ever say we had to earn a living in ministry in order to successfully minister to people?).

It’s about love and faithfulness. And making sure I am totally and completely bound to these.

Proverbs3.3-4

 

How can I touch someone’s heart with a kind word, a patient response, or an understanding ear? How can God use me to improve someone else’s day by how I treat them, how I pray for them? And most importantly, how am I modeling what it means to be a follower of Jesus by how I treat others?

This is what success looks like to me now. Whatever happens in my professional or personal life, whatever path God leads me down, or however the world defines me, my definition of success will forever be measured by the number of lives I touch by simply being kind, patient, understanding, forgiving, etc.

But I did get one thing right in my younger days. Success — this kind of success — is big. Like change the world BIG.

Infinitely more

I’m excited to announce that I’ve been asked to be a regular contributor at author and artist Crystal Sutherland’s blog. Crystal and I met about 18 months ago at a conference for Christian women writers and speakers. As you can guess, we connected instantly and soon discovered we shared a similar story and background from our childhood.  But more importantly, we both shared the goal of encouraging women, and especially childhood sexual abuse survivors, as they journey toward the healing and freedom that can come through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Crystal’s book, Journey to Heal: Seven Essential Steps of Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse, is being released this spring. If you or someone close to you has been a victim of childhood sexual abuse, I encourage you to check out Crystal’s blog. She has a lot of great resources listed for sexual abuse victims.

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Today, I want to confess to you something I’m not very good at: having peace and trusting God when things are going good. Can you believe that? It sounds silly, I know. When things get really difficult or scary in my life I am quick to run to God and put my trust in Him to provide. But when things are good I often find myself holding my breath, waiting for the bottom to drop, because the goodness can’t possibly last. In a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy, I will start to poke holes, find things that are going wrong or could be better, or just simply things to complain about.

When you’ve been through a major trauma or tragedy in your life, it can be easy to doubt that goodness can be sustained or even believe that you deserve happiness. But God’s word gives us a different truth. In Ephesians 3:18-20, Paul tells us “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Recently God blessed me with a new job, and chance to try a new career path, which was definitely an answer to prayers. But the new job has meant a number of changes in my life, not the least of which is a new commute and schedule. But instead of focusing on the gift of this answered prayer, I’ve been worried about all of the changes and how they’re impacting my family. I’ve worried that the fatigue I felt the first week was a sign that maybe I made the wrong choice, or I wasn’t cut-out for this new schedule. I’ve focused on all the things I don’t know or have lost, instead of all the things I bring to this job and all I’ve gained (and all this only in the first two weeks — eesh!).

But a few days ago God gave me a little reminder of the promise in Ephesians 3…

Get the rest of the story by going to: http://www.crystalsutherland.org/infinitely-more/