The scariest question I can think of is one that I ask myself all too often: What if I love them more than they love me?
For as long as I can remember it’s been my biggest fear and worry, that the people I love the most don’t love me back, with the same fervor. Or that at some point in time I will do or say something to cause them to stop loving me.
It’s a terrible thing to live with that kind of fear — fear that I am not worthy of unfailing love.
That I am not enough.
There have been relationships in my life where I saw my fears come true. When love turned away. When it left. When it turned out to have conditions.
Have you been there, too?
But when I was 19 years old I began to understand, for the first time in my life, that there is one love that’s different.
There is One who is love and whose love comes without condition. One who loves me more than I could ever love in return.
It was during my first year of college that I attended a retreat led by the campus Lutheran student group I was part of and students at nearby college Lenoir-Rhyne. On the second evening of the retreat we were taken into a small amphitheater in the woods. There was nothing on the stage except a cross with a light shining on it. We sat in silence for a few moments and then we heard the voices of the retreat leaders as they began to recite the Stations of the Cross.
I sat there in those dark woods, staring at that cross and listening to those voices act out the story of what Jesus went through in his final hours. The hair on the back of my neck stood as they described the insults hurled at Him from the crowd. I flinched when they depicted the nails being hammered into His wrists and feet as the sound of a hammer striking metal echoed through the woods. And I sobbed as they recounted the words He said before taking His last breath.
I had been a Christian most of my life and, intellectually I knew that Jesus had died for me. I grew up hearing about His death and resurrection, but until that night 20 years ago — sitting in the woods, staring at a cross and hearing the story come alive around me — I did not understand the love that was the impetus for His death.
As a child and teen I always wondered at the name Good Friday. What was so “good” about Jesus being beaten, tortured, and murdered, while his family and closest friends watched? To me it seemed all the “good” came on Easter when He rose from the grave. Now that was some good stuff! Reason to celebrate. But Friday – the day he died a brutal death? It seemed to me a more fitting name would be “Somber Friday”.
And if you’ve ever been to a Good Friday church service then you know that “somber” is definitely the mood, too. The Good Friday services I’ve been to feel a bit like attending a funeral. Everyone whispers in hushed tones, feeling the weight of all that happened on this day nearly 2,000 years ago. There is rarely any music or singing (at least in the churches I’ve been in), just a shroud of sadness and darkness that fills the air.
And yes, there is something appropriate about that somberness, about the solemn reverence. But there is also something beautiful, hopeful, and good about this day, too.
It is the day that God said: I love you more.
I will admit that sometimes I forget this – not the act, but the love behind it. Sometimes I still ask myself that scary question and worry that I will never be loved enough.
Last year I attended a women’s conference and the team from Fashion & Compassion was there. As I perused their beautiful hand-made items, I found this necklace that simply said Loved, and I knew I was meant to have it and to wear it as a constant reminder that I am loved by my heavenly Father – without condition or limits.
A reminder that I am loved back; that I am loved more.
I’d like to “share the love”, if you will, by giving away one of these beautiful sterling silver Love necklaces from Fashion & Compassion, as well as a copper Love key chain (for those women who don’t like to wear necklaces, or for the few brave guys who read my blog).
Here’s how you can win one of these items.
- First, send this post to a friend who needs to be reminded that they are loved, or share via social media if you think all of your friends need to hear this message!
- Once you’ve shared this article, please comment on the post (either directly at the bottom of this page in the Comments section OR on the original Facebook post) with these words: I am loved. If you are commenting directly here on the blog, please be sure to enter your name and email. I have no way to contact you if you win without this information.
- On Friday, April 1st I will select two winners, at random, to receive the necklace or the key chain.
Happy GOOD Friday!