Tag Archives: God’s purpose

Guest post: My first contact with the racism virus

At 9, I had an up-close and personal look at the racial divide.

It happened during my family’s trip to a suburban Chicago shopping mall. As we exited a large department store, another child got my attention.

He was with his family, too. I wondered if he was just as amazed by being in the 1970s megastructure.

But he was amazed by something else. He yelled, “Mommy, look at all the Black people!” I looked to see the people he saw.

Being African-American, I saw Black people all the time. As the obvious conclusion sunk in, I knew the boy was looking at my parents, my three siblings, and me.

My would-be playmate became my White audience instead. Our child-to-child connection was tainted. It felt like he was on vacation and I was on display — for all the wrong reasons.

My mother’s face grew concerned. I’d been exposed to the racism virus and it was too late to give me a vaccine. I’d have to build immunity over time. I’d need doses of truth to counteract the attempt to inject me with insignificance.

The boy’s mother made a poor attempt to hide her embarrassment. Avoiding eye contact with us, she grabbed her son’s hand and hurried away. But they left the insidious residue of an “us and them” mentality. It stuck with me and tried to mutate my thinking. I fought back hard because racism will try to confuse you, confine you or make you a carrier.

I’d seen images of the civil rights movement on television and heard snippets of my parents’ conversations about the need for racial equality.

I’d sat attentively in the classroom learning about African-American contributions to our nation as we observed what was then Black History Week (now it’s the entire month of February).

And yet, I held a naïve hope in my childhood heart. I thought any child I met could be my next friend. A lie said no. However, truth wouldn’t let things stay that way.

I’d later become best friends with a girl of biracial heritage. Her parents’ marriage reminded me love wins. A few years later, through my high school’s student exchange program, I’d become friends with white kids who weren’t startled by the appearance of black people. We shared hopes, dreams, and the common teenage longing for acceptance.

Because at its worst, racism robs a person of any chance of being accepted — as a person. Instead, it limits them to a color, a stereotype, or a statistic.

Decades later, I’m much less naïve and more infused with biblical truth. I’ve endured countless exposures to the racism virus.

Some people still look at my skin color as the first or only consideration for who I am or what I have to offer. But categorizing people solely based on our perspective can cause us to miss God’s heart. He never intended for His mosaic creation to lead to the mistreatment of others.

Historically, our nation missed God’s intentions and we remain stuck in the mire of slavery’s legacy and today’s racially tinged rhetoric. And yet, my childhood experience, or your similar experiences, reminds us we need to move forward.

Some people have.

Some people struggle with racism’s confusion or confinement.

Sadly, others have become unwitting or uncaring carriers of the divisive and hateful strain. However, improving race relations won’t matter to us, if we don’t sense God’s purpose for us.

Otherwise, at best, we’ll settle for a politically correct stance instead of a true change of heart. But if we are to walk in God’s purpose…
“The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”(1 Samuel 16:7 NLT)

“For anyone wanting to receive God’s forgiveness, His perspective or His healing, it’s made possible through faith in Christ.” (see Romans 7:21-25)

His power is just a prayer away.

With a sincere heart, go ahead and ask Him. The results will surely bring hope for the heart and joy to the soul.

Scriptural Reflections:
1. Genesis 1:26-31
2. Matthew 22:37-40
3. Acts 15:11
4. Ephesians 4:2-6 and 31
5. James 2:1, 9 and 10
6. 1 John 4:7 and 8
7. Revelation 5:8-10

The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Joy A. Williams


Joy A. Williams is an author, blogger, and speaker. She has served as a small-group Bible study leader, Women’s Conference and Retreat speaker for over twenty years. Joy encourages sincere or sidetracked truth seekers with “joy to the soul” on her weekly blog.

You can also connect with Joy on Twitter or Facebook and on Pinterest.

 

Featured image photo by Suad Kamardeen on Unsplash

Is there a reason for everything?

When I was in college at Appalachian State University, I was super involved with the campus Lutheran Student Association (LSA). It was the first group I joined when I got to school and in many ways the friends I met in that group were a life-line during those four years. They were my people and they helped me get closer to Jesus. I loved being a part of the group and the larger church community that supported them.

Each year I became increasingly more involved — serving on leadership, helping to plan and lead events, mentoring other students, etc. By my senior year it came time to hold elections for the group’s leadership and I decided to run for president. There was another girl who was younger, had not been a part of the group for as many years, who also decided to run.

I remember sitting in the fellowship hall of the church after the voting process and hearing the announcement that the other girl had been elected. She had won and my heart sank. I won’t lie, my ego was bruised, but I also felt like the group that had been “my people” had turned away and said, “you’re not the one that we want, we choose someone else.”

I know a leadership position for a campus church group doesn’t sound like a big deal or something to get upset about, but at the time I remember feeling devastated, hurt, even cast-out.

However, I’ll never forget that moments after the results were announced the pastor of the church and leader of our campus group — who had become a great mentor and surrogate father to me during my time at Appalachian — came over and rested his hand on my shoulder, leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I really wanted that for you.” Then he gave my shoulder a squeeze and walked away.

In that moment it was like he said, “I see you. I see what your heart desires, and because I care about you, I want you to have it.”

I’ve thought about that moment a lot over the years and what it meant to know that someone saw me and saw my heart.

A lot changed for me that year. Partly because of the hurt I carried from that event, I pulled away from LSA and church. Some other really hard things had already been happening in my life and it became a bit of a perfect storm. I slipped into a deep, deep depression my senior year. I didn’t go to class, I started getting migraines and had to be taken to the emergency room because of one that was so bad I couldn’t stop vomiting. I even contemplated suicide at one point. As my friends struggled to understand what was going on with me and how to be around this changed person, I withdrew from them. I was angry, I was lonely, and I was scared.

But during this time I stayed in touch with that same Pastor. Even though I wasn’t going to LSA meetings or to church much, I would stop by his office every week and we would talk. He would encourage me and pray for me. In many ways he was the life-line that kept me from completely severing my relationship with God.

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We often say, “everything happens for a reason.” I have said this frequently over the years. But as I get older I’m starting to question if that’s true, or is it just a nice platitude we tell ourselves? Does everything really happen for a reason? Is there a reason a mother has to bury her child? Is there a reason a husband and father would lose his entire family in a car crash? Is there a reason the young, healthy newlywed gets a cancer diagnosis on her 26th birthday?

Do I believe God creates good out of every situation? Absolutely, without a doubt I do. I have seen it time and again where beauty has risen out of the ashes and joy and love have transformed the ugliest, darkest situations and sorrowful times. But that still doesn’t mean those things — those desperate, break-a-person-in-two things — were ordained by God and happened for a reason.

Of course God can make something beautiful out of life’s ugly, and create strength and redemption from weakness and brokenness. In the midst of tragedy He can bring together people who otherwise would not have come into each other’s lives. But I cannot sit here and say God caused a tragic accident so that He could do those things. Or that there is some bigger purpose for a mother and father to bury their child. The reality is that sometimes hard, devastating, crappy stuff happens.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not trying to compare me losing some silly election for a college student group 25 years ago to these other real-life tragedies. But I can look back and tell you that I don’t see any reason why that happened. I don’t see any reason why God would have created that situation, with a darkness already looming in my life. But I often wonder how or if that year would have been different had I not pulled away from my friends and from church. Had I not felt a little bit cast-aside.

And yet, I do see where God made sure there was someone there in the midst of that who said, “I see you.” And that created a life-line for me to get through a really difficult time.

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Recently my daughter had a pretty disappointing thing happen to her. Something she wanted badly and had worked hard for, and due to a simple mistake — a forgotten deadline — she lost the opportunity. When she came home in tears my heart just broke for her.

Being a mom I wanted so badly to look for the reason. I wanted to say to her, “there must be a reason, let’s look for it together. What’s the good that can come out of this, how is God going to use this?” But I couldn’t bring myself to say it because the truth is, I don’t know if there is a reason. Maybe it’s just a really crummy thing that happened.

Will she learn from this experience and never miss a deadline again? Maybe. But I’m not sure that her feeling badly about herself and the sense of failure and disappointment she is carrying were intended for some loftier purpose.

So instead of pulling out the mom advice on what’s the big lesson we can learn here, or what’s God’s reasoning, I was just honest with her and said, “You know what honey? This sucks. I know it hurts and you’re disappointed, and I’m so sorry. I really wanted this for you. Because you wanted this, I wanted it for you.

I see how hard you are working and what you’re working towards. I see you. And I want you to know that.

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There’s probably someone in your life who, right now, just needs to be seen. Maybe it’s one of your kids. Maybe it’s your spouse. Maybe it’s a sibling, a parent, a friend, or a co-worker. Maybe a teacher or a next-door neighbor. But I want you to find that person. Find someone who is going through something really crummy and please don’t give them that sad, old platitude that everything is happening for a reason when they start to pour out their heart to you. Instead, just come alongside them and simply say, “I’m so sorry. This sucks and I wanted better for you, because I care about you. Because I see you. I see your heart and I see that you’re hurting.

Maybe if we spend more time seeing each other and loving each other rather than trying to put quick fixes and patches on everything, then instead of wasting so much energy trying to understand why tragic things happen, we can simply be a beacon of light and love in the darkness.

Matthew 25:35-36

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