Should Christians be immune to fear?
I’m afraid.
That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud since this all began.
As a follower of Jesus, I know I have not been given a Spirit of fear; I claim that!
As a mother, I believe it’s my job to create calm and stability for my kids. I’ve been trying to do that.
As an employee, I am grateful to still have a job, one that challenges me creatively, one I can do from home. I embrace that.
As a ministry leader, with a social platform (albeit a small one), I feel that I need to use my words to lift-up and encourage. Look for the good, stay positive, point people to the Hope found in scripture and our Heavenly Father. And that’s what I’ve been trying to do with my words for the last month.
But here’s the truth: I’m scared.
I’m scared that my very social daughter is getting depressed because she can’t see her friends, or go to the movies, or even walk through the mall.
I’m scared that my dad, who works at a big hospital, might pick up the virus and his immune system won’t be able to stand up to it.
I’m scared that my grandmother — who is in a memory care facility — thinks I’ve abandoned her because I can’t visit in person, and by the time I’m able to see her again, she won’t remember me.
I’m scared that this is our new normal. Not just a 2 or 3 month interruption, but a year or more of living shut-in, separate, apart.
And when I go to bed at night, I lay there scrolling through social media and headlines for hours instead of sleeping, because I know when I wake up it will be another day of living like this, and I’m not quite ready to face it again. To try and be optimistic, and strong, and hopeful all over again, when there is so much that challenges those feelings every day.
I’m afraid, and I’ve been ashamed to admit that out loud because when you’re a believer you’re supposed to have this iron-clad, unwavering faith. And when you’re a leader and teacher you’re supposed to encourage others to hold-on to Truth and Hope, and not give in to fear.
But here I am. Coming before you all exposed and vulnerable in the revelation of my fear.
I still believe my Heavenly Father is in charge, and that He knows how all of this is going to end.
I still believe that He will use what was meant for evil for His good.
I still believe that He loves me beyond measure, counting every hair on my head, and the head’s of my family, and He wants us to live a life of joy and peace.
I absolutely still believe all of that.
But I’m still afraid.
And I wonder…maybe the reason that “fear not” and “do not be afraid” are the most repeated phrases in the Bible isn’t because as followers of Jesus we should be above fear — immune to it. Maybe the reason God repeated those words so often is because He knew.
He KNEW we would most certainly be scared — and even terrified — by the things of this world.
Maybe the answer is not to hide from our fear, but to declare it out loud so that we can lay it down at His feet, seeking refuge and comfort in His words.
And in knowing we’re not alone.
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you”
Genesis 26:24, Deuteronomy 20:1, Joshua 1:9, 1 Chronicles 28:20, 2 Chronicles 20:17, Isaiah 43:5, Jeremiah 1:8, and Jeremiah 46:28
What is the difference between fear and legitimate concern?
I can be concerned about the welfare of those I love. I surely would choose for them to not know pain either physical or emotional. I am concerned about the way our world is changing, not for the better. How so many people do not know Yahweh’s Word and apply it to their daily living. I’m concerned for those people who only seek gain for their cause at the expense of anyone else or even the real truth in their lives.
The thing is though that because of the events of my life since I’ve come to know Yahweh and search his word daily that I don’t seem to fear.
Recently when I was injured at work and had all the activity around me with doctors and nurses doing their jobs to see just how bad I was hurt I lay there thinking I am just fine, what’s all the fuss. I literally had no pain in what looked like a very painful injury. So I realized my Father in heaven had protected me from not only what could have been a much worse injury but also from the aftermath. He had me in his hands. So if he did that what else would I have to be afraid of.
Now I realize fear is given to us humans to protect us from ourselves in our propensity to self destruct in our daily lives, and that kind of fear is a gift from a God who knows our weaknesses and bad habits. Most of us would not voluntarily jump of a cliff into a waterfall because we are afraid of the consequences, that’s a healthy fear. Fear of the future is, on the other hand, a exercise in unnecessary worry. We really have no control of our futures, but Yahweh promises us he does, and he has plans for us from before we were even born. Therefor we can be sure even though times look perilous to us he sees the outcome of it all and has our futures firmly in his hands. These uncertain times are really a wonderful opportunity for his creation to rise up and show the rest of the world that we know who is in charge. By reaching out to others we can extend the family of our heavenly Father to many more lost souls. By showing brave humility as we go through the isles at the grocery store, or do our jobs which require us to be in the middle of things, we are called to be the ones who show true faith to those around us, that they may be lifted up and relieved of their anxiety. this is the service we can give to our fellow humans. That is my goal, as much as my human abilities will allow.
Someday I’m going to die. That is a fact of life. Whether its tomorrow or 100 years from now, (I hope not) it is a fact of life. I am truly confident in the grace and forgiveness of Yahweh. That he will accept me in his kingdom when the end comes. Not from my own merit but from his great love for his creation, of which I am a part. So in the mean time I just gotta do what he gives me to do and trust that He is in charge at all times.
My Yahweh bless you and keep you.
May he make his face to shine upon you.
May he lift up his countenance upon you.
And grant you Shalom. (Peace)